Five Reasons to Plan your Own Hen DO (…or not)

Updated: Aug 8, 2019

Are you thinking of planning your own Hen Party? There are many advantages to being the captain of this ship and worry not; wanting to make your own decisions for your own event does not make you a control freak (necessarily). However, there are some things to think about before you make this decision, so take a read through our top five reasons to plan your own hen do:

1. You can do exactly what you want!

What to do… what to do… what to do? It is the question that springs up in WhatsApp groups, plagues the mind of the tasked Hen Do organiser and causes endless debate and often even controversy. Having someone else decide what your ideal hen party would be is no mean feat for them, and, for those of us who prefer to be the decision makers, the wait to find out what befalls us can be torture.

So why not make your own plans? Taking control of what you want to do for your hen party means, not only will you be far more likely to get the day/evening you dreamed of, but it avoids all the disagreements. You’re the bride-to-be right? No-one is allowed to argue with you!

Betty Lou recently had a enquiry for a vintage hen party. Half of the hens thought the bride would enjoy a vintage makeover and 50s Pin Up Photoshoot with all her girls. The other hens thought she would rather go paintballing. Perhaps she would have enjoyed either, or maybe half of her friends were wrong. The question is; is such an important celebration really the best time to risk finding out that your friends/family don’t know you as well as you thought?

If you know what you want your send off to be then you can make it happen!

BUT…. could you be depriving your Maid of Honour of her biggest honour? Your hen party is about your closest friends and family waving you off into married life after all. In many cases your bridesmaids may be chuffed to pass the responsibility back to you but, we suspect that, in some cases they may mourn the opportunity to spoil you and surprise you in their own way. Have a good chat with them first; explain your reasons for wanting to plan your own hen-do and be tactful.

2. Invite who you like

Ok, so we don’t usually have just one set of friends do we? How awkward it would be to look around your gathering at the beginning of your party/activity/night out and realise that your Maid of Honour didn’t realise you would want Sandra from Accounting there? Or Tracey your old school friend? Or that your husband-to-be’s three sisters expected to have been invited too. Also, wait a minute..what’s your boss (who you can’t stand) doing handing out ‘gals on the town’ sashes?

Take control of the guest list and you can ensure that no-one you want there is missed out.

BUT… you’ll have no one else to lay the blame on! Meaning, for instance, if you don’t want your Mother-in-Law there you can’t blame it on your Maid of Honour not having her contact details. Wasn’t the stress of the editing the wedding guest list enough?

3. You get to set the budget!

Oh it’s one of the most controversial forum subjects on so many online forums isn’t it? The ‘My friend’s hen do is going to cost £*** and I can’t afford it!’

Hen party extravagance may not have reached the levels of stag parties just yet, but they are certainly rising. One of the downsides of having just one of a few friends organise your hen party is that they may not have the best idea of the wider group’s budget. Of course your best friend since you were one week old is happy to pay out for a three day luxury break in Barcelona, but how will your other friends, feel about that? The person best placed to be courteous to your groups other financial and time commitments is you.

BUT… what is a fair amount to ask your friends to spend on your hen night/day/weekend out and do you really want to be the one to decide?

4. Set the rules!

No inflatables. No ‘penis or a cactus’ games. No fluffy tiaras and L plates. Sound good? Then maybe it’s best plan your own hen party. If the idea of a tacky hen do makes you want to run for the hills then could you bear plastering a smile on your face and trying to disguise your nervous laughter for genuine amusement as your Maid of Honour helps you into a bright pink tutu and ‘last night of freedom’ sash?

Hopefully if you hate all that then your friends will know you well enough to stay well clear. Yet is is a common go-to and it could well be just too tempting for even the most well meaning members of your group.

BUT… there is nothing lower than booking your own stripper or planning your own Mr and Mrs style game, so if you want that you are going to have to hand over control to your nearest and dearest.

5. You don’t HAVE to do it all

You could choose to plan every last detail of your party and your group can simply turn up on the day and follow your schedule, or, you could pass on an invite list and send a link to the activity you want to do or place you would like to go and let your friends take over.

Just because you are the original organiser does not mean you have to be responsible for every detail. It also doesn’t necessarily mean you won’t get any surprises on the day. Choosing the overall concept allows you to avoid anything you would truly detest (hopefully) but you have enough to do for the wedding presumably so ditch the additional stress and hand over to your most trusted advisor to set your perfect plans in motion.

BUT… Actually, we have no arguments on this one. It’s not always a black and white decision. The advantage of taking the reigns is that you get to decide just how much control you want, just as long as you do so with calmness and compassion.

Would you like a Betty Lou Vintage hen party? If you want to enjoy one of our unique hen do packages with your friends then get in touch. Hey, you can even pass us the guest list and let us take over the organisation if you wish! That way you get what you want without the hassle. Get in touch today


© 2019 by Betty Lou Vintage Events. Proudly created by Emily Dauris with

Photographs mostly taken by XCPhotography

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